The Struggles You Cursed Yesterday Are the Weapons You Need In Midlife
As people in midlife, we’ve been viewing our struggles all wrong.
For decades, we’ve been trained to see hardship as something to endure, survive, or overcome. Something that happens *to* us rather than *for* us. We’ve spent years saying “Why me?” when life got messy, complicated, or downright unfair.
But what if every single struggle you’ve cursed, every sleepless night you’ve survived, every moment you thought would break you—what if all of that was actually building the exact woman you needed to become?
I’m not talking about toxic positivity or “everything happens for a reason” bullshit. I’m talking about something far more powerful: the recognition that your struggles didn’t weaken you, they weaponized you.
Let me share something that changed everything for me, and I guarantee it’ll shift something in you too.
Stop apologizing for your scars. Those moments when you catch yourself saying “I’m sorry I’m such a mess” or “Sorry for venting”, cut it out. Your struggles gave you depth, wisdom, and an ability to navigate complexity that women who’ve had it easy simply don’t possess. Start owning that experience as expertise, not embarrassment.
When my son attempted suicide at 19, I thought it was the worst thing that could happen to our family. I was angry, terrified, and completely unprepared. But here’s what that devastating moment actually did: it stripped away every single thing I thought mattered and forced me to discover what actually did. It taught me to live in today instead of someday. It showed me that I was stronger than I’d ever imagined and more capable than I’d ever believed.
That struggle didn’t ruin my life, it revealed my life.
Your struggles weren’t random. They were precisely designed preparation for who you’re becoming.
Think about it:
Every difficult person you’ve dealt with taught you boundaries.
Every financial crisis taught you resourcefulness.
Every health scare taught you what you actually value.
Every moment of feeling invisible taught you self-reliance.
You weren’t just surviving those experiences—you were being forged by them.
Look at who you are today. Look at how you handle stress differently than you did 20 years ago. Look at how you cut through nonsense faster, trust your instincts deeper, and waste time on petty drama less. Look at how you can sit with someone else’s pain without needing to fix it, how you can make decisions without needing everyone’s approval.
That’s not despite your struggles. That’s because of them.
You’re not a woman who’s “been through a lot.” You’re a woman who’s been strategically equipped.
Every struggle was a masterclass in becoming unshakeable.
Every crisis was advanced training in what really matters.
Every moment you thought you couldn’t handle became proof that you absolutely could.
You’re not damaged goods carrying baggage. You’re a fully loaded woman carrying wisdom.
The midlife woman reading this right now has something that younger you didn’t have and something that women who’ve had easier paths will never possess: you know what you’re made of. You’ve tested your limits and discovered they’re much further out than you thought. You’ve been broken and rebuilt yourself stronger.
This is your time. Not because you’ve “earned it” or “deserve it” after all you’ve been through, but because you’re finally equipped for it.
Your struggles weren’t punishments. They were preparation.
Now stop wasting the woman they created.
What struggle in your past do you now recognize as preparation for who you’re becoming? Share your story, other women need to hear it.
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~Judy Davis is a motivational speaker, published author and Veteran Caregiver who shares candid stories, transformative mindset shifts, and practical strategies to help midlife women navigate the unexpected twists of life.