Overwhelmed at Midlife? Why Women Pull Back & How You Can Honor Your Need for Solitude Without Guilt
That feeling you've got? The one where you suddenly don't have the energy to show up like you used to? I've been there. We ALL have been there.
What's Really Happening
When you suddenly find yourself canceling plans, letting texts sit unread, and craving your own company—that's not a breakdown. It's a breakthrough in disguise.
Your body knows exactly what it needs right now: space to recalibrate your nervous system after years of overgiving. This is what so many of us midlife women experience but rarely talk about.
That "I don't care" phase? It's actually your deepest wisdom saying "I finally care about ME."
The universe hasn't dimmed your light. You're just redirecting that brilliant energy inward - and it's about time. And furthermore, it's not just okay—it's absolutely necessary.
The Truth About Ghosting People "Without Meaning To"
Let's be honest. When you stop responding to every message within minutes, when you decline invitations that would have been an automatic yes before, people notice. And sometimes they take it personally.
But here's what I want you to understand: this pulling away isn't rejection of others—it's reconnection with yourself.
Your body is literally speaking to you. After decades of being in a constant stress response—managing everyone else's needs, emotions, and crises—your nervous system is demanding regulation. Not temporary stress management techniques, but deep, fundamental healing.
And sometimes the only way to hear your own voice again is to quiet everyone else's.
3 Ways to Honor Yourself While Finding Your Way Back
If you're in this space of pulling back and seeking silence, try these three practices that have helped many of the women I've worked with navigate this powerful transition:
1. Create Deliberate Boundaries Around Your Energy
Instead of ghosting people and feeling guilty about it later, try this: designate specific times for social connection, and protect your solitude with the same fierce dedication.
Try This: Set aside just 30 minutes each day for responding to messages and calls. Outside of that window, your time belongs to you. Put this on your calendar as an appointment with yourself that cannot be broken.
Your words to others might sound like: "I'm in a place of deep reflection right now, and I'm being intentional about how much time I am actually socializing. I value our connection and will be in touch on Tuesdays and Thursdays." No apologies needed.
2. Practice Nervous System Regulation, Not Just Stress Management
Rather than adding more meditation apps or yoga classes to your already full plate, focus on addressing the root causes of your exhaustion.
Try This: Each evening, place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Ask yourself: "What triggered my stress response today? What situations or relationships consistently deplete me?" Don't judge the answers—just listen.
Then, create a "safety inventory"—identify three people, places or practices that make your body feel genuinely safe and at ease. Make experiencing these non-negotiable in your weekly schedule.
3. Redefine Your Relationship With Silence
Many of us have been conditioned to fear silence—to fill every moment with productivity, conversation, or distraction. But silence is where your authentic voice returns.
Try This: Start with just five minutes a day of complete silence—no music, no podcast, no scrolling. Just you and your thoughts. Gradually increase this time as you become more comfortable.
Notice what arises without judgment. The initial discomfort often reveals exactly where healing needs to happen.
This Phase and Transformation Isn't Forever
Remember, this pulling away isn't about permanently disconnecting from the world or the people you love. It's a pause—a cocoon phase where profound transformation happens before you emerge renewed.
When you honor this natural cycle rather than fight it, you'll find yourself returning to your life with more authenticity, clearer boundaries, and a replenished spirit.
You haven't lost yourself. You're finally finding the woman who's been waiting patiently beneath all those layers of expectation and obligation.
And she is amazing!.
I'd love to hear which of these practices resonates most with you. Drop a comment below or join the conversation on Instagram @Judy.Davis55 where we're creating a community of women reclaiming their authentic power
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~Judy Davis is a motivational speaker, published author and mental health mentor that helps people escape the "I'm Fine" trap with contagious energy, zero filter, and a toolkit that turns burned-out givers into joyful boundary-setters who finally put themselves on their own damn to-do list!