The Art of Starting Over: Finding Balance When Your Story Takes an Unexpected Turn
When life throws its hardest challenges at you—those moments that divide your timeline into "before" and "after"—finding your footing again can feel impossible. I've found that rebuilding balance after tragedy requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace a new reality.
Here are three approaches that might help:
Honor your grief without becoming it. Your pain deserves acknowledgment, but it doesn't have to define you completely. Set aside time to feel your emotions fully—maybe it's writing in a journal each morning or sitting quietly with your thoughts before bed. Then, allow yourself permission to step away from that grief for brief periods. Remember that seeking moments of lightness isn't betraying your loss.
Start with tiny anchors. When your entire world feels upended, look for small, manageable routines to provide structure. Maybe it's making your bed each morning, taking a short walk at sunset, or simply enjoying a cup of tea at the same time each day. These modest rituals become touchpoints that remind you that continuity is still possible, even when everything else feels different.
Find people who can hold space for your new reality. Some friends may struggle with your changed circumstances or push you toward "getting back to normal." Seek out those rare individuals who can sit with you in the messiness—who don't need you to be "fixed" or "over it." Sometimes this means connecting with others who've experienced similar losses, whether through support groups or online communities.
The balance you find won't look like your life before—and that's okay. You're not rebuilding the same structure; you're creating something new that honors both what you've lost and who you're becoming.
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~Judy Davis is a motivational speaker, published author and mental health mentor that helps people escape the "I'm Fine" trap with contagious energy, zero filter, and a toolkit that turns burned-out givers into joyful boundary-setters who finally put themselves on their own damn to-do list!
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