As a woman over 40, it's easy to feel trapped in your current situation. Whether it's an unfulfilling job, strained relationships, or an empty nest, the midlife stage can leave you frustrated, anxious, and longing for change.

Throw in some fear and questioning and that about covers my midlife experience to date.

But here’s what I have learned. This transitional phase also presents an opportunity to rediscover your passions, pursue new goals, and reignite the spark within you. No more waiting for life to happen.

Toxic language patterns like "I'm fine," "It's no big deal," or "I'll be OK" have become such ingrained habits, that we barely register the impact of those loaded words.

Yet every time we say them, we need to realize that it’s more than just casual utterances - they're self-diminishing codes that keep us trapped in cycles of emotional repression, disconnection, and withered authenticity. When we instinctively respond with "I'm fine"

For many of us women in our 40s and 50s, the word "fine" has become an all-too-familiar refrain when asked how we're doing. We reply with an automatic "I'm fine, thanks" when interacting with friends, grown children, colleagues, or even strangers making small talk. On the surface level, it seems like a simple, inoffensive response.

But let's take a deeper look at what that "I'm fine" may actually signify.

If you're someone who often finds themselves just going through the motions and telling others "I'm fine" when deep down, you know you're anything but fine, this one's for you.

Feeling deeply unsatisfied, disconnected from your life's purpose, or spiritually adrift yet pressured to maintain appearances of having it all together is the worst.

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The other day I was in a conversation with someone who shared that their life felt like a mess. They were looking for the one thing that caused everything to go sideways. Was it the finances, the jobs, the relationships, the stress level? Was there really a “cause” at all? So many questions and unfortunately I didn't have the "answer"...but it got me thinking.

Recently, when I was living a "less than perfect" period in my life, I began to question what this whole alignment thing was all about. I wanted to understand how being in alignment could actually help me get what I wanted out of life, and more importantly how to stay there once I figured it out. In short, I wanted to quit the roller coaster, and get the information I needed to create my ideal life.

Have you ever felt the same?

More and more we are hearing how important it is to be in alignment with what we want in our lives. There are books, movies and techniques designed to help us reach our goals and create the life we desire. The gurus talk about getting aligned with our intentions.

But what does that even mean?

As a mental wellness mentor and caregiver to a wounded warrior I get chaos and stress.

When you are caring for someone you are always on, putting out fires and anticipating when the next challenge will present itself. It’s as if you are standing on pins and needles just trying to get through the day.

This constant state of fight or flight was the fuel for my anxiety and stress.

I couldn’t sleep, my shoulders were always so tight, I never felt like I could relax. Stress will do that to you.

Mastering change is never easy, but mental wellness specialist Judy Davis shares six steps to help you deal with change effectively and with less stress.